Privileged? Who Me?

Growing up in the South – a woman who was taught to stay in her place – it was men who enjoyed all the privileges of power. Within the male/female hierarchy, I certainly was not encouraged to believe I had any special privilege. It took stepping out of my “place” and looking at my life from a whole new perspective to be able to see that – yes, even while living within all the various limits of my  Christian White Southern Woman Box – I was still a part of the dominant culture; I still live with unearned, undeserved privilege. Just because I didn’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. tumblr_ms5vlfjE5K1qzgq67o1_500 Like gravity, the invisible status quo of our culture tends to keep all of us in our “place” until we figure out how to see it, name it and stand firm against its insidious hold on us.

Everywhere I turn, I see other people saying the same thing. Many of us are becoming more and more aware of the favors society gives us just because of the color of our skin. It’s embarrassing.

Jim Rigby posted on Facebook how he, like me, was “taught a white version of history, a white version of beauty, and was saved by a white savior. I could not see my racism because it was the lens through which I was looking at everything else.” The very next day Jim blogged (with his tongue firmly in his cheek): “How do you know America is post-racial? Because a bunch of white people will come onto your Facebook and shout down anyone who would suggest otherwise.”

Matt Zoller Seitz is the Editor-in-Chief of and a TV critic for New York Magazine. He tells a story of a very stupid fight he started outside a bar, and then the undeserved wink and nod he got from the Dallas police as the Hispanic guy went off in handcuffs. Matt knows, because he has taken the lens off, that different rules apply to him than to so many others.

After the events in Ferguson, quite a few thoughtful writers burdened with their own privilege wondered what they could do. Rachel Held Evans said we are “not as helpless as we think” even though racial reconciliation is a “hard discouraging road.” Janee Woods wrote a much shared reflection on “12 Things White People Can Do…” When the Public Religion Research Institute published survey results revealing that most white people don’t have very many friends of color in our social networks, the blogosphere came alive with discussion.

Franciscan priest Richard Rohr relates his story of finally recognizing his own white privilege and finding ways to dismantle it. His summary of what perpetuates and sustains white privilege: “Self chosen illusion and 2016-01-15-1452828903-6185521-TuneandRohr-thumbdenial, softened and sustained by too easy comfort.”

(Father Richard is deeply wise and his recent interview with Romal Tune is well worth reading.)

So are we favored white folks going to sit by and continue to allow America be what America has been? Or is this the time when we finally step up and really work for a more equitable America?

I can’t stop the culture from gifting me with undeserved privilege, but I can find ways to increase the privilege and opportunities of others who live within my sphere of influence. I can’t change the fact that my skin is light, but I can stand against the insidious notion that white is the ideal and cultural norm.

It is not.  the_joys_of_new_friends_4492_94441656

Working to change entrenched systems is not quick or easy, but when enough of us discard our blinders of privilege and open our eyes to the realities of inequity within our society – a reality in which too many of us are too often complicit – then and only then can we truly be partners and allies in this effort for a just America.

The “System” may try to keep us in “our place,” to keep all of us in all sorts of “boxes” that define us and divide us.  But we don’t have to give in to that status quo. Breaking out of those boxes and standing together can be our salvation.


“break free out of your mold” sculpture by Zenos Frudakis


Charlotte Vaughan Coyle lives in Paris TX and blogs about intersections of faith, culture and politics on her website and Intersections Facebook page. She frequentlyIntersections logo shares her thoughts with Coffee Party USA as a regular volunteer.

Charlotte is an ordained minister within the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) and also blogs about Scripture from a progressive Christian approach in her Living in The Story Musings.

6 thoughts on “Privileged? Who Me?

  1. Thank you Charlotte! That was a great post. Thank you for your willingness to step outside your comfort box. It isn’t easy. Many just don’t care enough. Even people I know and love who happen to be white. They, some of them, are deluded and in denial of the reality. I wish more white people would stand up and overturn all those damned boxes… This racial issue can be fixed. One thing, collectively, white people must apologize for the treatment, bullying and all things negative that have been done to people of color. Just say ‘we’re sorry for all that – even tho we didn’t do it. We’re sorry. How can we help?’ And then actually help. Advocate for your counterparts to hire people, train people. That’s the biggest thing. Then tell counterparts to quit saying vile things that are not true for what they are really doing is projecting. Black people didn’t do anything except help raise the country. They did not fight to come here. AND they are not going back b/c all their connections were broken, thank you white man…. All the ignorant white people need to realize it is they who are lazy and mooching. Black people work hard for very little. They also, many of them, have Stockholm Syndrome – which is sad and white people cannot even appreciate that! Black people will have your back and the same cannot be said the other way around. That is sad. White people love to say we are post-racial and black people need to get over it when they are the ones doing everything they can to obstruct black progress. Mind you, not all white people… We are a country divided because one group thinks they are better than everyone else and that their god (non-caps on purpose) told them so. Such b.s…. They are actually worse- the great appropriators. Black people want to move on from racism. White people just don’t. So perhaps you could advocate for folks to just stop already and realize and respect the fact that were it not for black folks and mexican folks, there would be no america….

  2. I would love to see this article presented on Fox News. Unfortunately this article will not receive the much needed exposure it needs to reach the grassroots white American populace which refuses to take an honest assessment of its privilege. For those whom understand and admit their superior position on the precipice , I salute you. Sadly, this article is merely preaching to the choir.

  3. Speaking as a person of color from Texas I just want to say Thank you for speaking the truth about this reality and I hope more people become aware of the situation.

    1. Let’s all keep speaking the truth Gustavo. It takes all of us, doesn’t it? Thanks for reading and thanks for your comment. Peace…

  4. Thank you. I did not grow up in the South, but lived there far too long. Being here in the Northwest now, I am really aware of how that toxic system puts everyone in a box. As a white person I was privileged, but only when I stayed in my box. We are missing so much when we do not mix it up and have everyone bringing their uniqueness. So much more to be said……

    1. Amen Jane. We are missing so much! Thanks for reading and thanks for the conversation. Peace…

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